Mari-Novios

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This is something I've wanted to blog about for sometime now. I kept going back and forth about it because I didn't want to offend anyone and I didn't want it bite me in the arse. I realized today I try to keep my blog very P.G. 13 to make sure it won't get me in trouble. Actually, I've known for awhile. Having said that I hope no one's feelings get hurt or no one gets offended with this.

I love my boyfriend with all my heart and soul. I love him beyond words. There is no one I'd rather be with. Even when he annoys the hell out of me and I want to sock him in the face! Anyone who knows me would completely agree. We are boyfriend and girlfriend not husband and wife. Yes, we live together and have a daughter. We are a beautiful family but again, we are not husband and wife. When I introduce him to people I don't say this is my husband, I say this is my boyfriend. I know it sounds totally ridiculous to some but it's true. My boyfriend will say I'm his wife. I won't lie and say I don't like it. Of course I like it but it's not true. I also won't sit here and lie and say I NEVER refer to my boyfriend as my husband. There are certain times when I have to say he is my husband. That being business calls. If I say I'm his girlfriend a lot of the time people won't talk to me because I'm not the "wife" so I am forced to lie and say I'm his wife.

I guess I don't understand why people assume because you live together or have a child together that automatically makes you married. No, it doesn't. You are not married. Legally you have no rights to each other (at least in California) and you can't even add each other on your insurance forms. I'm not saying that my way of thinking is correct. This is simply my opinion. People still call Mr.Andrade my husband after I openly explain to them he is not. They tell me they think it's silly calling him my boyfriend when we have a child and live together. Perhaps it's true. It is silly but I don't want to say Mr.Andrade is my husband if he isn't. I don't mind other people saying he's my husband. I think it's cute.

Maybe one day I'll cave and start referring to Mr.Andrade as my "husband" but I doubt it. I've always felt strongly about this topic even before him and I had a child together. When my mom and I would gossip about certain people who live together and have kids she'd say "so and so's husband/wife" and I would immediately correct her and say "oh, you mean boyfriend/girlfriend" she'd either chuckle or say "ok, su mari-novia/mari-novio" which I really wouldn't know how to explain in English. Funny thing is my mom knows better than to call Mr.Andrade my husband. She'll refer to him as "tu pareja" which means "your partner" it doesn't bother me at all. I appreciate the fact that my mother is very respectful of my opinion. Our opinions tend to differ a lot of times but at least we agree on this. At least I think we do.

Comments

  1. Agram80January 21, 2012 at 9:43 PM

    Lol I feel you! Me n my "mari-novia" live together but everyone always consider us a married couple even her but I'm like uhhhh were BF and GF! Lmao it's all heavy though

    ReplyDelete
  2. SkullsJanuary 21, 2012 at 11:37 PM

    Well I'm glad to know I didn't offend you :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. rachaelJanuary 23, 2012 at 2:49 PM

    I'm married, I love my marriage and my husband. I am, however, aware of the world we live in today. You don't have to be married to have kids. We live in a society that wants to be innovative and liberating yet holds onto the archetypal ridiculousness of the 50's family. The truth is, family "is a basic social unit consisting of parents & their children, considered as a group whether dwelling together or not." The def never mentions anything about being married. There are many diff types of family and, if anything, yours is the closest to "traditional." You guys love each other & your daughter - that's all that matters <3

    ReplyDelete
  4. SkullsJanuary 23, 2012 at 10:09 PM

    Well said Rachael!

    ReplyDelete

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