Emma

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Emma 3 Months Old

Our newest addition decided to surprise us by coming a month earlier than expected. True it wasn't by choice, but she's here and we are thrilled. It has been a bit difficult this past week. Being told that I was getting induced because it was safer for the baby outside the womb, rather than inside, having to leave the hospital without my baby, trying to keep a happy face for Sami and having to wonder when Emma will be coming home. It's hard trying to keep it together, for Mr. Andrade and myself. I've broken down a few times and keep getting paranoid about falling into a depression. I'm grateful my baby is ok, I just wish she was home with us already. She'll be a week old tomorrow and it doesn't feel like it at all. I still feel like she's a day old; I think because she's still at the hospital. I miss being pregnant so bad and I think it's because my baby is not home. I'm sure she'll be home soon it's just getting through these days until then.

I had started this entry the week Emma was born. I didn't finish it at the time, but reading it brings back all those emotions. I almost started crying again because it instantly took me back to those moments. Feeling lost and hopeless, and not to mention loopy. I was so bad mentally, emotionally and physically that Mr. Andrade had to carry around my ID and credit cards because I couldn't be trusted. I was losing everything. I also got in a fender bender at the hospital, the guy was taking the blame for it, and I just said, "It's cool, forget about it." I totally regret that now hehe.

I'm happy to say Emma is home now. She's 3 months and is getting bigger and bigger each day. She loves kicking her toys on her play mat and listening to Rockabye Baby lullabies. She seems to have a keen sense of who Sami is; she always focuses on her whenever Sami plays with her.

We were fortunate enough not to have her in the hospital too long; however, it felt like an eternity the time she was there. I'm grateful to the nurses and doctors for all the support they provided not only for Emma, but for us as well.


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