Birthday Blues

Shameless old picture of myself. Just cause it's a birthday post. 

I love my birthday. I think I've said it in past posts before, but me being the lazy arse that I am, didn't bother to look. Let's just pretend that I did. Ha! I tend to get the birthday blues a lot. I'm not sure why. Well, maybe it's because I build it up so much in my head as this big event. Technically for me it is, but yea.

This year was no different than the past years. I got down about it. The only difference was I couldn't seem to shake the blues away, AND I really didn't feel like doing anything at all. Everything felt kind of forced on my part. I felt I was doing thing just for the sake of doing things on my birthday. I'm not sure if it's because of my hormones or because I've finally reached that alleged age where people don't care about their birthdays.

I remember when I was a kid, even as an adult, I'd get so excited about my birthday. Older people would always say stuff like, "Oh, that's cute, I remember when I was like that. You won't care when you're older." I started wondering if I had reached that non-caring age. Where birthdays weren't a big deal. I remember swearing up and down that it would never be me. Now I wasn't sure. Had it happened without me knowing. I didn't feel ready to transition into the point where birthdays didn't mean anything. I refused to believe that they didn't matter. I mean, my parents love their birthdays, too. So maybe it's not like that with everyone.

The weekend of my birthday finally arrived and I couldn't seem to shake the blues away, but I still went on with my plans. They ordered a bunch of pizzas for me at work on Friday. My coworker got me a little treat which I thought was super sweet. Saturday started with brunch with great friends and I have to admit, I think that's when it started turning around. I had such a great time running around L.A. I had a small BBQ at another friend's house. It was super chill and sweet. I think everyone had a nice time just relaxing. Sunday I had brunch with my family. That has become tradition for us now. We always have brunch for birthdays now. Before we'd always go to my parents' house and order food and have a cake. Now we go eat where ever the birthday person wants to grub.

I' m grateful for another year. I'm grateful for my family. I'm grateful for my friends. My birthday may have been chill compared to the past but at the end of the day it was just as meaningful.